Luke 6:37

Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven

If I have counted correctly, I have been staying late in the office for the past 4 weeks. Not that I love office that much, just that I have been having tight deadlines, helping out with other projects and helping to clear deadlines that are not mine. Seriously, I think I need more than a weekend to recuperate, which is why I'm so looking forward to Saturday. I'll be in KL by Sunday night all the way till Tuesday afternoon. Wee hee! That means 2 days off from work, officially! I'm hoping I can do some serious shopping, because I've been so dead deprive from shopping that my only form of retail therapy is grocery shopping. Well, I did shop last Saturday, but I was too exhausted to enjoy it. I'm no serious shopaholic, but I need an alternative avenue to spend my energy on.

Right now, I'm in a mental dilemma. I am absolutely confused because I can't decide how I should be as an intern. I've been given freedom to design but sometimes I feel pushed. Are all architects like that? I think so anyway. Most architects are egoistical people, so be wary when speaking to them about design and inventions. Anyway, I need to keep my mind in the right framework at work so I don't lose focus of my role and how I should be because I tend to lapse into an intern mindset sometimes. I hope I'm forgiven.

Anyway, have you ever felt like you've pulled a cord in your brain, never being able to reattach it back or realign it? I feel like I have something akin to that, especially after last sem. Bad tutor and s.e.p fatigue, coupled with some really unexpected shitty outside influences like a buzzing mosquito that refuses to be hit, I could say that I'm damaged, sitting in a mechanic's workshop, hoping to be repaired, or perhaps , 'pimped' (as in pimp my ride's 'pimp'). I clearly see some sort of expectations from me, far more than I could possibly handle, but hopefully by God's grace, He will give me strength and wisdom.

I think I've encountered too many types of character in the past week, making it a bit hard on my brain and soul. From demanding friends to commanding peers to confusing boss to I-don't-know-what-else, it's like having to switch your mind each time to suit a different person. Why can't I be me and people suit to my whims and fancy? Anyway, I realized the morality of the world no longer has a right or wrong, no better or worse, just each man to his own. Tough and complicated eh? Sure is. Why can't people stay simple and live simply?

Right now, the areas are still gray, but when the time comes, all will be white and black. That's when it's time to shine. I must always remember, God has plans for us, not to harm us but for us to prosper.